Perhaps you may also be counting on time to see lesser than a slight change as you balance between the “unbearable and optimism”. Even your close friend advised it would just be easier to let go but you strive to make ends meet, thanks to your goddess of hope. She could be planning to take you an extra mile. Pause to think .
The Campus times random sample threw us to Tina (not real name) a finalist of Library and information science at a collage in Kampala. She is carrying a pregnancy but not with a smile that comes with it.
Daniel was someone Tina was hesitant to count on yet he had the qualifications of a good “husband to be”. Tina counted on time that things would change and re-channel him to the husband of her dreams. It was a false hope.
“When Danny crossed to Law Development Centre (LDC), I thought things will get better. Our financial independence and a home of our dream I hoped was just a tickle away. At one time I even wasn’t scared of the gang of girls that were on his back every time phone calls came in while I visited him at hostel”
When he got a small job at a law firm in town but this worsened thing. The number of girls according to Tina increased supplemented by drinking, and at times would spend nights out when she was at home.
“Even on the days I would visit, Daniel would spend nights away leaving me in the house to endure the loneliness. I felt like a cupid arrow across my heart, but I had to keep heart.” Tina confesses.
Such relationships as Tina’s are confusing. Sometimes, when you see are so at vantage, they seem to care so much leaving you in indecision.
Tina narrates how Danny took the initiative to know her relatives. In cases of any disagreements, He would find some time to meet either a brother or sister this created more confusion. Tina yielded to the pressure through advice from a friend that crippled her more
“My friend advised me to get pregnant so he can settle with me but it has not helped either. He even told me he wasn’t ready to become a father and abandoned me…I haven’t even received a phone call for the last six months. I have made a decision to go to Soroti so I would give birth and I will keep my baby”
According to Ms Nabukeera Lilian, a business operator along Nasar Road Kampala, such relationships deserve a resolve to take a clear decision. The more you stay counting on time, the more mistakes you make; and you end up a loser.
“The most important thing is to understand the decision you are to take to move on without focusing on the interpretation in the wider world. And it takes understanding who you are and what you wanted in the relationship you are quitting…otherwise it is suicidal”, she says.