The time they have long been waiting for has come. For their partners to finish campus and start staying together. However, they can not fight the fear of losing them.
It is late January and in Uganda, the atmosphere is gay with graduation parties of Makerere University students in town and in the country.
Unfortunately, life is not the same on the boyfriends’ side. Many have begun to ‘freak out’. “She is gonna leave me for a fellow graduate or wealthy man”
The perspective that female degree graduates are not ‘marriage material’ has marred the entire Ugandan society which has made most men to distance themselves from educated women.
Basically, the perspective was backed-up by the female degree holders’ dishonesty and unfaithfulness when it comes to love relationships.
Additionally, graduates feel they are too advanced for some home chores like washing clothes and therefore will ‘chicken out’ on marriage issues.
A male proposing to fellow graduate: photo courtesy
But, my advise to young men is; you can do away with the misconception and make that sexy graduate the wife you will stay with for eternity.
Here is how.
Learn to Speak Her Language. The most convenient way of winning over somebody’s heart is to learn their mode of communication. You need to blend-in a little into her social life like swimming or even some bit of clubbing but not getting too pulled to forget your personality.
ALSO CONSIDER Couple counseling
- Plan a Romantic Getaway Plan everything out, choosing things that she likes to do. For example, make dinner reservations and get tickets for a play, a movie or an event she would enjoy. Reserve a hotel room, pack her bags and make sure her calendar is clear.
- Check on her but don’t turn into a stalker. It is OK to visit your partner, even at their residences but it should not be a daily routine. Female especially fresh graduates want space alone. It can as well act to your advantage by giving each other space to think how better to tackle relationship issues.
- Avoid over praising your partner basing on her education qualifications. Treat her in a special way but disregarding the fact that she attained a first class degree. This will make her feel as normal as the other love partners.
- You are not looking for a maid, you are looking for love. One mistake men do is to think that by getting a partner all their ‘home chore’ problems are solved. Avoid piling your partner with dirty clothes and some of which you were thinking of rubbishing. This may discourage her from committing to you.
- While talking marriage, don’t be ‘pushy’ and act desperate. It may scare her off. You may need to take on an advisory role and show her the advantage of committing and staying with you.
- Be free.And Bold. And conversant around her. Even if she is more educated than you are, she will like the fact that you can assert your view point without any fear.
- If you feel it is time, don’t wait, propose. It maybe the only thing she is waiting for but can not reveal to anyone. Therefore, proposing will manifest your seriousness and commitment towards her.
- Don’t even think of making her leave the job or chill out on looking for work. After graduation, everyone is thinking of better ways to make some money. However rich you maybe, let her enjoy the first fruits of her toil before you can relay your ‘stay at home strategy’. But you can talk your partner into getting some days off to have special time together.
Fresh female graduates may in most case be proud but that does not change the fact that they also enjoy being loved and given special treatment. However play your cards right, commitment maybe far from their thoughts.