I asked why girls who are not looking for marriage are stumbling on it while those who are desperate for it can’t find it. Here in so many words is why I think that is the case. Every analogy presented here is from my own observation and every phrase employed is coined by me. Generally speaking, ladies in our society divide their adult lives into four distinct phases.
PHASE ONE: Play time (Age 19-22)
This is a period where, as Cyndi Lauper’s famous song says, “girls just wanna have fun”. When a guy asks her out, she comes along with three of her roomies and wonders why he was frowning throughout the evening and drinking only water.
She shares almost all her mischief with her friends and they have a good laugh over it. At this stage of their lives, girls see guys as playthings; as a lamentable, pitiable species of people that must continually prove their worth.
During this phase, any suggestion of a serious relationship is dismissed with the contempt reserved for fun-
PHASE TWO: Open time (Age 23-28).
In this period, girls still wanna have fun, but not just fun. They want to have fun with a purpose. They are looking to fall in love and get married (in that order).
At this stage, her ideal man is no longer a set of qualities written on a piece of paper or a guy on a magazine cover, but a workmate, a church-mate, a gym-mate…in other words, someone within her realistic grasp. She
knows him, she sees him, she frequents the places he usually goes to and she hopes he makes a move.
As she gets dangerously close to 28 and the guy of her fantasies is not any closer to making a move, she widens her net. The bidding process is now open. She imagines that just because she flung herself open, bidders are going to come flocking in by their tens. If only life was that straightforward.
Her open bidding process lasts a year without a single bid, then reality hits. She looks back at all the bidders she threw out without as much as a consideration and none of them looks particularly jilted. In fact, most of them are probably happily married or inviting her to their wedding meetings.
Tick, tack, tick, tack….
Don’t miss the next phase of this story.