The Ultimate Relationship Guide

Relationship advice is a tricky thing. But when you actually seek it out, it can be really hard to find what you are looking for–like whether yours is healthy and what’s truly important. Sure there’s advice like don’t go to bed angry and ”respect is important, ‘but we’ve heard those before. Before we even get into what you should do in your relationship, lets start with what not to do. Don’t ever be with someone because someone else pressured you to, being together for image, being young and naïve and helpless and thinking that love would solve everything. Another wrong reason to enter a relationship is the desire to use the love of someone else to soothe your own emotional problems. The only reason you should ever be with the person you’re with is simply because you love being around them. It is really that simple. Everything that makes a relationship work requires a genuine deep level of admiration for each other.

However, it’s useful to point out that love itself is neutral. It is something that can be both healthy and unhealthy, helpful or harmful, depending on why and how you Love someone else. Love is never enough to sustain a relationship. Have realistic expectations about relationships and romance. Most people go into relationships with unrealistic expectations. There will be days, or weeks or even longer when you aren’t mushy-gushy-in love. You’re even going to wake up in the morning and think, ”ugh, I’m still here,…”that’s normal! But more importantly sticking it out is totally worth it, because a love that’s alive is constantly evolving. It’s not going to be the way it used to be, and it shouldn’t be. I think if more couples understood that, they’d be less inclined to panic to breakup or divorce. True love is a commitment to a person who you understand isn’t going to always make you happy-nor should they!-and a person who will need to rely on you, just as you will rely on the end of the day, it brings more happiness, not other series of highs.

Happily ever after doesn’t exist. Everyday you wake up and decide to love your partner and your life-the good, the bad and ugly. Some days its a struggle and some days you feel like the luckiest person in the world. The most important factor in a relationship is respect, what I can tell you, respect is the number one thing, it’s not about the looks ,sexual attraction, shared goals, religion, or lack of nor is it love. There are times when you won’t feel love for your partner. But you never want to lose respect for your partner. Once you lose respect, you will never get it back. However most people always talk about communication as being the most important part of making things work. Talk frequently, talk openly, talk about everything even if it hurts. And there’s some merit to that. But I noticed however that most people with happy marriages going on 20,30 or even 40 Years, what they talked about most was respect. My sense is that these people ,through experience ,have learned that communication-no matter how open, transparent ,and disciplined-will break down at some point. Conflicts are pretty much unavoidable and feelings will always be hurt.

It’s crucial that you hold each other in high esteem, believe in one another-often more than you each believe in yourselves and trust that your partner is doing his/her best with what they’ve got. From respect, comes everything else-trust ,patience, perseverance. And really what this mutual respect means is that we feel safe sharing our deepest, most intimate selves with each other. If something bothers you in the relationship, you must be willing to say it out loud. Doing so builds trust, and trust builds intimacy. It may hurt but you still need to do it because no one will fix your relationship for you. The key to fostering and maintaining trust in a relationship is for both partners to be completely transparent and vulnerable: when you commit to someone ,you don’t actually know who you’re committing to. you know who they are today but have no idea who this person is going to be in five years, ten years. You have to be prepared for the unexpected, and truly ask yourself if you admire this person regardless of the superficial details, because at some point is either going to change or go away. The relationship is a living, breathing thing. You have to hash things out.

Relationships can be complicated and difficult. But few people know that there are some pretty clear signals to know if a relationship is going to work out or not. Relationship counselling can help you talk things through and move favorite piece of advice is that we wake up everyday and decide to feel affection towards our partner, ‘communicate, talk about things, the good and bad. Build honest, be faithful, be there for one another, make time for one another, leave the past to the past know that having arguments is normal, know that you won’t always be happy, don’t expect change, appreciate the flaws. Appreciate each other. Become best friends. lastly, love each other unconditionally.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

2 + 2 =

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.