Love Language is important in a relationship, use these tips on how you and your partner can give and receive love.
There are so many ways to love and be loved.
The idea is that by learning what your partner’s love languages are you’re able to better speak directly to their heart and make them feel loved, make them feel appreciated and make them feel connected,relationship and intimacy coach Jodie Milton tells TODAY.com.
To help you better understand your partner, here are the Seven things people get wrong about love languages.
1. Our partners don’t have the same love languages as us
Even if you and your partner are totally in sync, you may have different love languages.
But when this happens, it can leave their partners feeling unheard — and perhaps, unloved.
“So many clients are like, ‘Well I love all of these things, so I do those for my partner,”
“And the partner is like, ‘But that’s not my love language. I don’t feel like you see me when that happens.’
2. We don’t spend enough time learning about our partner’s love languages
Your partner’s love languages are just as important as your own.
“When we spend too much time in our heads, thinking about love, overanalyzing things, we miss the boat,” Winquist says.
“It’s equally important to take time to understand the ins and outs of our partner’s love languages in addition to our own.”
3. Gifts don’t have to cost a lot of money
“For people who have been receiving gifts as their primary love language, I think often the misnomer is ‘Oh, it has to be an expensive piece of jewelry, or you know, some kind of like a high-end gift,’” Winquist says. “But the truth is, a gift that’s handmade can often have more meaning than an expensive piece of jewelry.”
Small gifts can make a big impact, especially if they come from the heart. A plus: Since they’re more wallet-friendly, there’s a good chance that you can shower your loved one with more gifts throughout the year.
Read Also: Best Relationship Quotes for Every Occasion
4. Your partner doesn’t always know what you need to hear
There are a million ways your partner can spell out how much they appreciate you but one statement may mean more to you than another.
“One couple comes to me and the wife tells me her partner says he loves her all the time and yes it feels really good to hear but I want him to say, ‘Listen, babe, I really understand you,'” Winquist says.
It’s important to be upfront and honest with your partner about how you want them to express their love. Otherwise, Winquist adds they “might be missing the ball on what you need to hear.”
5. Physical touch is not the same as sexual intimacy
“You will often find people saying that is one of the biggest ways I feel loved by my partner,” she adds. “And sexual intimacy is more than just sex, it’s erotic play, it’s flirting but it definitely is different to physical touch.”
Everyday gestures often fulfill the desire for physical touch. Maybe it’s a back rub at the end of a long day or brushing their leg when they tell a good joke.
6. Love languages can change
Love languages will likely evolve as the years go on. You might start a relationship thinking receiving gifts is super important to you, but you might find you’re actually missing something deeper in your relationship and yearn for words of affirmation.
“So, depending on what’s going on in your relationship, you might actually find yourself craving other love languages that you didn’t actually realize were important to you,” Milton says.
7. You give and receive love differently
The results of the love language quiz reveal how you prefer to receive love, but Milton explains that a lot of people actually give love in a different way.
For example, some people like to receive physical touch as their love language, but will naturally give acts of service. Some people might crave hearing words of affirmation, but find it difficult to speak words of praise or affection to their partner.